Best Songs of the Year

One of my Facebook friends posted an update asking for people's favorite song of the year. His was Scarlet Fields, by the Horrors (which I don't know). But it inspired me to do an end of the year-ish list of my favorite songs that came out in 2009. Here goes, not in order:

1. Animal Collective, My Girls

2. Bat for Lashes, Daniel

3. the Dodos, Fools

4. Empire of the Sun, Walking on a Dream

Empire Of The Sun - Walking On A Dream
by wonderful-life1989

5. Grizzly Bear, Two Weeks

6. Dirty Projectors, Two Doves

What are your favorites of the year?

Too many words in the last post

Here are some pictures I took in the last couple of days. First, Le Beeps, cuddled up under my blankets this weekend with the light coming in through the windows. He looks kind of handsome and vicious, no?

He's totally rock n' roll.

Below are some pictures from my office after the storm cleared and the sun was setting. I thought the colors in the sky were lovely.

I should have taken video of the storm too, it was howling and whistling through the windows.

Le Weekend (non abridged version)

I had a pretty nice weekend, the weather was great and I had little fun things to do here and there which helped it pass nicely without me getting bored or lonely.

Friday night I was supposed to meet with a woman regarding my desk that I am selling. I paid $55 for it at Kmart when I was still in college, put the particle board poop-colored thing together myself, and have used it in my small rooms as it is compact and has lots of storage. It comes with a printer table that goes along side, and which I've used to store my photo albums from the days of printing pictures (yeah, college documentation in physical form!), stationery, and various other paper goods.

For some reason I told the woman she could come at 5:30 since I usually get home at 5:20. A few weeks back I cleaned out a lot of my desk, but not entirely, so I had to race home and start throwing piles of junk onto my bed to clear off the desk. I wanted to move it out my sliding glass door so it could be accessed by the gate outside my window, instead of trudging it through my room and house. So, I tear up my room only to get a phone call that the woman can't come that day, but she can come on Sunday. Oh great. I spent the next few hours moving the desk outside and trying to bundle up dusty computer cords and various knick knacks. I went to the store to get garbage bags for trash and Good Will donations, and filled two whole bags. I need someone with an objective eye to help me get rid of the smaller things like a stapler and two boxes of staples, various paper clips and small pads of paper and phone jack extensions and the like. All useful little trinkets that are taking up too much space in my life.

Under my desk chair I found a Bepu hair ball that had dried up and stayed there un-noticed, as the chair is never used and covered in clothing and scarves and my Bjork swan outfit costume from three Halloweens ago (read: LOTS of feathers). I spent some time moving all of the junk out of the way, organizing it into keep and not keep, and bagging it up. Then I tried to vacuum the corner to rid it of the dust bunnies and rogue feathers, but the damned thing would only cough up the crap that was already in it. I am love a fresh vacuumed floor but am a little intimidated by vacuums. When I was a kid it was one of my chores and I swore the one we had was possessed as it tried to hop away from me mid-vacuum a few times.

A few hours later I was mildly happy with my progress (nothing was on my bed anymore), but it still feels a bit dirty in there. The woman came on Sunday in two trips to pick up the desk for $25 (after an original offer of $35), which was good since it started pouring today, and I have $25 more in my pocket.

At around 10:30 that night, I met my friend Tommy for drinks at a pub downtown. He was in SB from LA for the marathon on Sunday (this being his second), and out with his girlfriend and former roommates from when he lived here, and another friend from LA who we went to college with running the race with him. It was nice to see him as always, and we had some good conversations about art and culture and living in places like LA and Fresno (more raw) compared to SB (more zen, sheltered). I left after one cocktail since I drove, but would have liked to hang out more.

Saturday I drove to east LA county for a baby shower at the Spaghetti Factory (yum), stopping at Target in Oxnard on the way for a gift and cat food. And then also three (three!) new Christmas cds. My mom and I were talking about how it was hard to break the seal of Christmas shopping and we just needed to get into the spirit. So, I found an old standards type compilation CD with the likes of Dean Martin, Judy Garland, Billie Holiday, etc, singing old favorites.

The baby shower was nice, but long (three hours). There was this ridiculous hanging the laundry while holding the baby and talking on the phone game that went on forever. I did guess the circumference of my friend's pregnant belly though (it's the same size as my chest measurement - how embarrassing), but I won a gift, and YAY, Christmas re-gift! It's very nice, but with moving soon I just can't take on more trinkets and beauty products that I will never use. Someone else can appreciate it more than me right now.

Afterwards I went to see a movie with two of my friends at a local mall/cinaplex. We saw "Everything's Fine" with Robert Deniro, and please don't waste your time or money. It was long and boring and implausible and another one of those dysfunctional family movies that is low on charm and warmth, and high on forced sentimentality. Plus I can't stand Drew Barrymore. The worst part was, a family of three adults were with a baby that woke up halfway through the movie and started babbling and trilling and yelping (the way babies do) through the entire second half of the movie. My friend Sarah finally asked them to take the baby outside, after lots of people shushed them, and they in turn shushed the baby, which didn't work because a baby doesn't know what "Shhh!" means. One of the adults then gets up with the baby (they are in the very top row), and walks it down the steps, the baby gurgling and trilling with each step it laboriously maneuvered down the stadium seating. They get down to the bottom of the stairs and sit at the floor seating area, making the baby more annoying for the people down at the bottom, and still audible to us at the top. When it got especially loud, they moved over to the hallway area and loitered just outside of the actual theater, but still visible (and of course audible) to the rest of us.

Are you kidding? First, why do you have a baby in a movie theater? Much less an adult movie? Second, why don't you remove your baby once it starts making loud noises and generally disrupting the experience for the other hundred or so more people that are there to see a movie in silence. Are you that important that you don't care about the comfort and experience of the other people in the theater? Did you pay more for your tickets than we did? I don't think so. What if that crappy movie was the only two hours someone had away from their stressful single motherhood life, and they had to listen to your kid provide the soundtrack to the movie? And there are THREE of you. Someone can take the kid outside. The rudeness baffles me.

I got back to SB around 8:30 and watched the Wire dvd I had from Netflix and fell asleep. The next morning I got up to meet Tommy at the finish line of his marathon. I wanted to walk, but was afraid I'd miss it, so I got coffee and a bagel and drove down to the Harbor and parked, then walked over to city college area to wait with everyone else. It was a beautiful morning, and the race started late, so I finished mt breakfast across the street and then joined the crowd to welcome in the finishers. I was surprised to find myself emotional as the finishers crossed the line, imagining what those three plus hours must have been like physically, mentally and emotionally. I can't run three miles without stopping, and have always been impressed with runners, and the looks on their faces as they came in from that journey was pretty amazing.

Tom came in just under 3.5 hours, I think 3:29 and some seconds, which beat his last time by 8 minutes, despite forgetting his pacing watch and getting hamstring cramps and having to stop and stretch a bit. He said he started at a seven minute pace, but the beers from Friday night and the cramping set him back, so he was disappointed in himself. Me, I couldn't be more impressed. 26 miles? Three and a half hours of running? In. Sane. I was very proud, got video of him coming in to the finish, and some pictures afterwards. He thinks we should do the Fresno 2010 together, and I think he must be smoking something. He told me later he didn't remember much from after the race; he was completely high and in excruciating pain. So hopefully he doesn't remember the other part about me running either. Always one of my favorite people, and I'm glad I got to experience that and see him a few times this weekend.

Later that night I went to another movie (see how much stuff I did? It was great!)with my friends Ashley and Roy. We saw "the Road", adapted from a novel by Cormack McCarthy about a post-apocolyptic journey with father and son. I hate apocolyptic type themes, but I like Viggo Mortenson, and it looked like a well-made film. It was entirely too grim and depressing for me, with some very disturbing moments, but there were parts that were very fascinating and the acting was pretty good. Also it had Omar from the Wire, which I had read about, and I was impressed with his brief time on the screen.

So, that was my weekend. Not in a nutshell, sorry.

This cracks me up

I love that his name is Lorenzo.

My life got flipped turned upside down

So, my world did a sudden somersault last night when I found out my two roommates, in anticipation of me moving out (eventually, no leads in sight), both are deciding to move out at the end of this month, which leaves me with a four-bedroom house to find renters (strangers!) for on my own. So Fuck. I think I have a solid game plan, but it's going to take a lot of work and the kindness of some really great friends and family. It seems like I will be a nomad after this month, so I need to get rid of a lot of crap that I've filled my life with for the past 8 years that I've lived in my house. It will just be me and my essentials (underwear and mascara) until I can make a permanent move. I'm trying to look at this as a blessing in disguise (no victims here!), even though I am scared and freaked out and essentially homeless after this month.

So, here are some things that made me happy today:

Sara made this avatar for me, and man, she's hot. I'll take it. Since hers looks so much like her, this must look like me right? Shh, don't spoil it for me. Thanks friend!

And below are some pictures that a local took last night of the moon over the mission. Pretty gorgeous, huh? They are kind of spooky and halloweeny, and I love the drama of the gray sky against the orange facade of the mission. Nice going local photographer dude.

On fire today

I'm not really a big baby person per se (I don't know what to do with them and am afraid I will make them scream or spit body fluids at me), though I do love my nephew (and friends' babies) and have gotten a lot more comfortable around the little buggers since he was born. I can recognize a cute when I see one though, and love the baby videos on AFV almost as much as the animal ones, since they are never, ever staged.

So, this trailer for a movie called Babies: The Movie looks really interesting (and pretty cute):

This cracked me up this weekend

Love me some Neil Young!

Possibly a rom-rom I'd be willing to watch. Maybe even pay for.

Mindy Kaling, one of my favorite actors on The Office (but who isn't my favorite?), is set to co-write a romantic comedy for the big screen. I am usually a rom-com hater, but if they are funny and done well and not condescending or completely balls-off stupid (it's yet to happen), I can be an enjoyer. Here are the details: Details!

Long and embarrassing to admit

I have been struggling with stress lately, and it has been odd, since I don't find much to stress about - so maybe unusual or curious would be a better term. For me, stress causes me to break out, worry endlessly, imagine scenarios, over eat, recess into myself, seek comfort in the dark. I don't like asking for help ever, though I don't think I would hesitate if I were in real trouble - it's just not my first instinct.

So, I find myself being especially sensitive and fragile, and I hate it. I don't like feeling sorry for myself, and immediately beat myself up emotionally at any hint of it. This doesn't help any, because then not only am I feeling bad about myself, I am then punishing myself for feeling bad about myself.

Since my stress seems to be stemming from something I can't control, I have been thinking lately about how to at least control the symptoms of the stress. I can know I am behaving or reacting irrationally, but it doesn't change the way I am feeling. I don't want to hide out and wait for the storm to clear, I want to be proactive and positive. It's just so hard when I feel like poop.

I decided today that my best recourse is to take all of my leftover time and keep busy. Most importantly, I need to work out or be active every day - it makes me feel better on so many levels. The problem is, I have a love/hate relationship with exercise, and every time I fall out of the routine, it takes a huge push or amount of momentum to get back on track. I know how hard I can work, but after not doing it for so long it is terribly difficult to jump over the mud that keeps me glued to my seat. I feel bad about myself for letting so much time and built-up endurance/strength wither away, I feel bad about how hard it is to do just little easy things, or how easy I fatigue. So just not doing anything is way easier right?

I don't know why I sabotage myself in this way. I know working out and being active doesn't come naturally to me. My brother can't sit still for 30 minutes, but I'd be happy sprawled out on the couch all day long. I know that being active makes me feel better though - about myself and just in general. So, I think I will go easy on myself and while I'll require me to be active every day, I won't require me to run long distances or do anything crazy-hard. I have an abs dvd I've been meaning to try (for like a year - d'oh), and can walk out on the beach every day, and incorporate jogging and lunges and squats. I'll do it mainly for the endorphins, to keep my head screwed on tightly, to keep my focus and wits about my. Any happy side effects to that will be icing on the cake.

a cluster cuss of a weekend

I had a nice, if insanely busy Thanksgiving weekend. I spent Turkey Day with Adam at his mom's house, marking the first time in my life I've spent a holiday with an S.O. and their family. That only took 30 years.

We then spent Saturday with my family and my mom's side, and Sunday with his dad's family. Along with my girlfriends' Thanksgiving a few weekends ago, that makes a total of four food-fueled, full on turkey feasts. It was all delicious, and all pleasant, but my god if I don't feel like a walking stuffed duck. I refused all leftovers except some turkey and salad from my mom, and - the bane of my existence - bread. But goddamn my turkey sandwich on fresh baked bread from Di Ciccos for lunch was good. If it weren't for the slices of bread being two inches thick each, it would have been fairly healthy (or low calorie is maybe the better word), since I only added mustard and some light laughing cow cheese. But what I really should be eating for the next few weeks until Christmas is a lot of air. Maybe some lemon wedges for dessert.

Besides this, I spent a lot of time cooking and baking, making four batches of two different kinds of cranberry sauce, bread rolls, and a batch of stuffing. I needed some tequila for one of the cranberry recipes, and my dad happened to have a handle of Cuervo Gold (blegh) that we took back and ended up doing multiple shots of during the cooking sessions, which I can't believe I managed to do without yacking them right back up. That was thanks to some fresh oranges we cut up that managed to get me past the goosebumps and gag reflex brought on by cheap tequila.

I also managed to fit in a trip to the movies, watching Fantastic Mr. Fox (delightful if you like Wes Anderson), a night out to see some local bands, and some quality hang out time with the fam. All in all, a nice holiday weekend - but not so fun bookended with four hour drives.

You're dumber than applesauce

So, it's Tuesday night, after 9:00PM and all I've done since I got home is eat dinner and watched a few episodes of the Office (thank you TBS), along with Jeopardy and an episode of House Hunters under a blanket by my heater. There's a reason for my laziness today, and maybe it can't be called laziness since I AM GETTING A GODDAMN COLD.

I've been fighting it since this weekend, when I stayed in mostly the whole time trying to stay warm (besides the beers I bought myself). Today it's the worst so far, though not a full blown sickness yet. I just feel stuffy and tired and light-headed. Great way to start a holiday weekend, and a fabulous condition for a long drive home.

Ugh, I should probably stop complaining and pack. I hope I don't forget anything important, like underwear or mascara.

PS - The title is just a funny line from the Office. I love that show.